Store Policy

*We'll be honest. We care about your safety and privacy but we're not super passionate about writing about it. Google AI, Gemini, to the rescue. Enjoy the (totally true but Gemini-generated) privacy and safety statement from the minds of our future ruling class: ​

​

Privacy Policy: Where We Draw the Line (at Dancing Flamingos)

​

Worried about us selling your data to the highest flamingo bidder? Fear not, internet adventurer! We value your privacy more than a mime prizes silence. Here's the lowdown on what we collect and what we do with it (spoiler alert: it's not world domination... probably).

 

What We Do Know:

• Your Name: Because let's be real, nicknames like "PizzaPocket4Life" get old fast.

• Your Email: For sending you awesome deals, not creepy love poems (unless you're into that, no judgment).

• Your Browsing Habits: But only on our website, like a nosy neighbor peeking over the fence (but way less creepy, we promise). We use this to make things better, not stalk you (although your cat costume searches are intriguing...).

• Your Device Info: So we can ensure our website looks fabulous on your potato phone or unicorn-powered laptop.

 

What We Don't Do:

• Sell Your Data: We wouldn't sell your secrets for all the glitter in the craft aisle. Your info stays with us, like a loyal (and slightly neurotic) goldfish.

• Track You Across the Internet: We're not the NSA (although their cookies are probably delicious). We respect your online freedom, even if it means you keep buying those questionable cat ear headbands.

• Spam You to Oblivion: We send emails, but only the good kind, like with actual information and deals, not just emojis and inspirational quotes (unless you specifically request them, because who doesn't love a good inspirational cat meme?).

​​

So, Relax and Enjoy the Ride!

• We use your info responsibly, with more ethics than a vegan butcher. We promise to be transparent, keep things secure, and never do anything that would make your grandma raise an eyebrow (unless it's at our hilarious jokes).

 

Disclaimer: Flamingos may or may not be involved in any data-related activities. We cannot confirm or deny the existence of a top-secret flamingo dance party fueled by user data. Please consult your local conspiracy theorist for further details.